no, he came in my armpit
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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