i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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