also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
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We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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