Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize