So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize