i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Drake has all the answers
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize