Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize