Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize