Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
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he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize