Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
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No, drunk sperm still make babies.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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