You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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