I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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