I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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