If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize