im having a threesome with these popsicles
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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