If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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