i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize