Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize