Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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