Just took my morning after pill in the library
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize