As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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