bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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