the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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