i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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