oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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