Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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