I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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