ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize