he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize