Don't make out with my wife yet
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize