I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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