She is in my trunk
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
There's even glitter on my cock...
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