are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
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Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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