i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
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