She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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