I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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