I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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