babies were throwing up all over the place
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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