she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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