this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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