Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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