Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
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Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
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You. Win. At. Life.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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