Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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