Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
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