I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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