If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
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when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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