I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize