We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
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I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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