i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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