I just pynch a tree in the face
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize